In creating Community, it is important to employ "a set of core values and principles and a number of techniques and methods" derived from them. In the next few posts, we will move from the dialogical theology of Martin Buber and share the 9 Guidelines of Communication espoused by Roger Schwarz in his "Skilled Facilitator Fieldbook."
"Guideline for Effective Communication #1: Test Assumptions & Inferences" - Roger Schwarz. It's important to be CERTAIN about the INTENDED content in conversation, and not just certain about what we "heard." If I ask my partner, "Are you wearing that?" I could mean, "Are you ready?" or "Are you really going out like that?" among other things. To help avoid conflict, she should test her inference.
"Guideline for Effective Communication #2: Share All Relevant Information" - Roger Schwarz. Truth-telling is vital to relationships, and keeps groups operating and united within a collective understanding of "what is." Also, sometimes our emotional state in a conversation may be a byproduct of a separate encounter, but is misread by our current communication partner: let them know where you are before engaging.
"Guideline for Effective Communication #3: Use Specific Examples & Agree On What Important Words Mean" - Roger Schwarz. If your boss asks you to "run the numbers," you should BOTH be certain about what that means. She should give an example, and you should double-check your understanding before proceeding. This saves time and avoids conflict.
"Guideline for Effective Communication #4: Explain Your Reasoning & Intent" - Roger Schwarz. It is important to share w/ others your process & the results you're hoping for. This allows them to correct any misconceptions as well as gain a clearer understanding of your needs & interests, creating both commitment to and authenticity in the experience.
"Guideline for Effective Communication #5: Focus On Interests, Not Positions" - Roger Schwarz. The cornerstone of Conflict Resolution, the idea is to explore the underlying reasons fueling the positions we've taken in a conflict in order to find common ground. For example:2 kids each fight over 1 orange, but one wants the rind to bake, the other wants the pulp to eat.
"Guideline for Effective Communication #6: Combine Advocacy & Inquiry" - Roger Schwarz. Be explicit about including your Other in any conversation, and especially in decision-making. This is as simple as advocating for your ideas, then closing your statements with a question like: How does this strike you? This makes clear to all concerned that your Other is a partner rather than an adversary.
"Guideline for Effective Communication #7: Jointly Design Next Steps & Ways to Test Solutions" - Roger Schwarz. Once a course of action has been chosen, create a plan that clearly outlines next steps, and a time to gather with other decision makers to assess progress. This helps everyone understand that there might still need to be some adjustments made, and invites everyone to a designated time and place to discuss.
“Guideline for Effective Communication #8: Discuss The Undiscussable Issues" - Roger Schwarz. It's important to identify and address latent conflicts, since otherwise these tend to quietly snowball into an often unpleasant eruption. Utilizing other Guidelines, engage in discussions that seek to resolve and understand underlying tensions or imbalances, and to rediscover mutuality.”
"Guideline for Effective Communication #9: Make Decisions By Consensus In Order To Generate Commitment" - Roger Schwarz. It's important to make certain in decision-making that all parties to a decision are "on board." Half-hearted agreeance usually indicates misgivings, and often those misgivings are essential to group harmony and success. If someone seems ambivalent about a decision, discover their reasoning.
The Skilled Facilitator Fieldbook by Roger Schwarz
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