Taoism & Confucianism: Relationships & Reality

"The softest thing under heaven / gallops triumphantly over / The hardest thing under heaven... Treat well those who are good, / Also treat well those who are not good; / thus is goodness attained. / Be sincere to those who are sincere, / Also be sincere to those who are insincere. / Thus is sincerity attained." - Tao Te Ching, 6 & 12

"To realize that you do not understand is a virtue / To not realize that you do not understand is a defect / The reason why / The sage has no defects, / Is because he treats defects as defects. / Thus, he has no defects" - Tao Te Ching

COMMENT:
The idea here, from a Communication perspective, would be to see that all conflicts result from our not understanding our communication partner, and that most conflicts can be managed effectively by seeking to more clearly gain this necessary understanding. At this point, our "defect" is treated as such, eliminating it altogether.

“Human beings are / soft and supple when alive, / stiff and straight when dead. / The myriad creatures, the grasses and trees are / soft and fragile when alive, / dry and withered when dead. / Therefore it is said: / The rigid person is a disciple of death; / The soft, supple, and delicate are lovers of life.” - Tao Te Ching 41

“... human beings have an intrinsic value not because they are individual rights bearers, but because they are constitutive parts of an intrinsically valuable whole... not because they are individuals, but because they are interrelated.” - Confucian Ethics

"... people deserve respect and have dignity in two ways: externally, from the point of view of an observer, because they are integral parts of an intrinsically valuable whole, the sacred dance, and internally, from the point of view of other participants, because, analogous to the way that family members deserve respect from each other, we are all part of the same family." - Confucian Ethics

"When a group is a community working toward a common goal, talk of rights is [not] appropriate... it can be deleterious. Respect, equality, & dignity are all understood in terms of being a contributing member of the community. There will still be rules & boundaries, not because individuals... have rights, but because r...oles must be defined for the community to work effectively & to progress." - Confucian Ethics

COMMENT:
What is important about this statement is how it reveals a different manner in which to conceive of human value, and especially of what community "is." Consider it a process, an ongoing event: imagine a basketball game in which one player h...as violated another - perhaps she's physically restrained an opposing player who could have easily scored. Has the restrained player had their rights violated? Surely. But is this focus appropriate? Or does the deeper question surround the implications for the team itself, and for the game and all who are involved in it?

"... the need to protect and allow for the peaceful transformations of communities requires regular and institutionalized channels for dissent, not simply the occasional recognition of a duty to frank speech in specific and infrequent circumstances..." - Confucian Ethics

‎"Confucius clearly regards as very important the role of the ruler as an attractive model of what a person should be... 'If the ruler himself is upright, all will go well even though he does not give orders...' Conspicuous greed among the upper orders creates an atmosphere of greed that encourages crime among those below." - Confucian Ethics

COMMENT:
It is important to recognize (as we are all leaders of our respective communities) that our actions set the tone for what is or is not permissible within the group context. For instance, patterns of non-transparency, gossip, or giving voic...e to anger become more present and real each time they occur. Likewise, forthright communication, avoiding discussions that detract from unity, and celebrating difference also contribute to a group's value system and experience of "who we are." One individual cannot change another individual, but we can contribute to the group dynamic and so change everyone all at once, for good or ill.

"Who is puffed up cannot stand, / Who is self-absorbed has no distinction, / Who is self-revealing does not shine, / Who is self-assertive has no merit, / Who is self-praising does not last long. /// As for the Way, we may say these are / 'excess provisions and extra baggage.' / Creation abhors such extravagances. /// ...Therefore, / One who aspires to the Way, / does not abide in them." - Tao Te Ching, 66

"He who is skilled at speaking / is flawless in his delivery... The sage / is always skilled at saving others / and does not abandon them... Good men are teachers for the good man, / Bad men are foils for the good man. / He who values not his teacher / and loves not his foil, / Though he be knowledgeable / is greatly deluded." - Tao Te Ching, 71

"Understanding others is knowledge, / Understanding oneself is enlightenment; / Conquering others is power, / conquering oneself is strength; / Contentment is wealth, / Forceful conduct is willfulness..." - Tao Te Ching, 77

"Confucian development of the self... is very much in the context of what David Hume called 'mirroring fellow minds.' Other people's opinions of us need to be taken seriously. Even if they fail to appreciate whatever virtues we have, they still may have noticed something in us that requires work; or it may be that we n...eed to work on the ways in which we communicate to others." - Confucian Ethics

COMMENT:
An important thing to keep in mind where any act of "judgment" is concerned is how these acts tend to limit our understandings of how others "are." We lock them into a defined state of being, and if we're not careful, every time we experience their presence we engage them from this frame, sometimes despite evidence to the contrary, evidence that they've indeed changed. Assessing others' reality and their actions is important in determining how, when, or even IF we'll interact with them (and so important in maintaining the distinction between Self and Other), but it's equally important to remain open to the possibility (the inevitability, really) of change, both in them and in us.

“... goodness can infect a community. Moral force, Confucius says, 'never dwells in solitude; it will always bring neighbours.' This is one of the reasons why it is goodness 'that gives to a neighbourhood its beauty.’” - Confucian Ethics

“It is a Confucian belief that Heaven endows human beings with the sense of, and concern with, the transmission of culture, by which we search for the ultimate meaning of life. The Way of Heaven must be cultivated in personal experience and social interchange. The will of Heaven to preserve this culture animates the mo...ral tradition and gives it a cosmological significance on the one hand, and 'imposes' a mission on human beings to carry out what is hidden in this culture on the other hand.” - An Introduction to Confucianism

“Virtue is not only a quality, but an ability to transform oneself and a power to transform others. As the wind sways the grass, a person of virtue is believed to be able to lead the masses in the direction of the morally good.” - Introduction to Confucianism

“To be a person of virtue is thus no longer the privilege of a ruler or a superior minister. It has become a necessary condition for a personal transition from a crude and uncivilized being to a cultivated and civilized person.” - Introduction to Confucianism

“Self-cultivation is thus understood as the fundamental path to the spiritual transformation of one's character. By the interaction between the macrocosm and the microcosm, the transformation of one's own character is believed to fulfill the transformation of the cosmos and society.” - Introduction to Confucianism

"Love and reverence should be the roots of government... To preserve the Mandate of Heaven, the king is required to... reduce rather than increase the hardship of the people, to be benevolent rather than cruel to people, and to take care of those who are suffering." - Introduction to Confucianism

"Everyone has emotions, but not all of us can express them properly or in due time. To make our emotions harmonious, we must cultivate our character. It is believed that cultivating harmony within, we will become virtuous; while doing the contrary, we will spoil our character. In this sense, harmony is identified with ...moral virtues, and is deemed as the most important of all virtues." - Introduction to Confucianism

"To realize harmony... individuals are required to play an active, creative role in recasting and reshaping their life, to improve their understanding of the world, and to manifest their own nature. Harmony as the hightest ideal is thus closely related to nature, politics, ethics, and daily life... [and] is central to ...all existence and all activities..." - Introduction to Confucianism

"... a harmonious relationship between Heaven and humans refers to harmony between spirit and material, between form and matter, between mind and body, between the one (the universal) and the many (the particular). In a religious sense, it indicates a continual process between this life and the hereafter, between the d...ivine and the secular, and between heavenly principles and human behavior." - Intro to Confucianism

“In the area of naturalism, [a harmonious relationship between Heaven and humans] points to the unity between humans and Nature, between beings (the living) and things (the existent), and between the social and the natural.” - Intro to Confucianism

"From the perspective of politics, [a harmonious relationship between Heaven and humans] effects the unity between the ruled and the ruling, between the government and the mandate to govern, and inspires the people to correct disorder and chaos in order to attain peace and harmony." - Intro to Confucianism

“Within the human realm, the Confucian resolution of conflict concentrates on three kinds of relationships. Firstly, it searches for peace and harmony between the self and others by working on human nature, calling for cultivating one's virtues conscientiously.” - Intro to Confucianism

"Secondly, [the Confucian resolution of conflict] seeks to harmonize family relationships through cultivating a sense of mutual responsibilities between family members." - Intro to Confucianism

“Thirdly, [the Confucian resolution of conflict] looks for a way to diminish the possibility of violent conflict by establishing a humane government in which virtues overwhelm selfish contention.” - Intro to Confucianism

COMMENT:
In closing this trio of ideas regarding Conflict Resolution from a Confucian perspective, we would like to direct your focus to the manner in which a Confucian approaches their humanity within the context of the larger society of organisms ...and entities through which one defines oneself. The Confucian begins first with an exploration of Self, and sets about identifying and cultivating their virtue - their ability to live up to their conceptualization of Right and Wrong.

Next, this lifelong practice becomes actualized within the context of the family, who are the perfect participants for an individual's exploration of their unfolding Human Nature, and the attending approach to what a Confucian might call Heaven Nature.

Finally, this approach to Heaven Nature is to be manifested within organizational reality - within the society of Other organisms - in the highest structure which humans have devised to protect and govern the interaction of, well, everything: the government.

In examining this focus on Virtue within the Self and taking it as far as one can go into Other without infringing on their autonomy or freedom, we have a clear picture of what the Confucian society - and by extension, any society which seeks to gather around The Ideal (Justice, Freedom, Balance, etc.) - would look like.


The Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu

Confucian Ethics by Kwong-loi Shun & Wong

Introduction to Confucianism by Xinzhong Yao